Ancient Proverbs

There are some wise words of wisdom that truly inspire me. One of my personal favorites is this bit of advice that I steadfastly adhere to despite the fact that it has failed me time and time again....

"Ignore a problem long enough and it will magically go away."

-Some Really Smart Guy Ancient Proverb 

Lately, things have not been going so well. I'm willing to admit that there is a slim chance that it may or may not be my fault. This semester flew by in a flurry of papers, projects and stress and finals sort of just snuck up on me.

To say that I was unprepared would be quite the understatement. One day I was plodding my way through a pile of never ending projects and the next I was sitting in an exam feeling confused and wondering how I got there.

I had an exam in pathology this afternoon and I think it actually went rather well. I got to the classroom on the earlier side and caught one of the good seats. While I was waiting for the test to begin I talked to some of my classmates and saw that they mainly fell into two categories, "mass hysteria and panic" or "dazed and confused".

Those in the former category were the ones that had actually studied for the test while members of the latter group seemed to have given up and were slightly unaware of their surroundings. One of my classmates confided in me that she was worried about failing the exam because she isn't very good at microbiology. I gave her a pat on the back and tried to look reassuring as I told her that on the bright side, she had a whole week to study for microbiology.

She seemed more perplexed than reassured and I gave her a knowing smile.

Finals are rough and we all have those days.

Equality For Ants.

Ants here, ants there, ants are crawling everywhere!

As of right now, there are at least four different kinds ants in my apartment. Apparently, ants come in all shapes and sizes. I've seen little ants, teeny tiny ants, slightly bigger ants, red ants, black ants...

The really teeny tiny ones might be brown but really, its hard to say.

Everywhere I go, I find ants. Ants at the bus stop, ants at school, ants on a covert mission trying to steal my lunch while I'm sitting on the grass.

I'm not sure what it is about my apartment that draws ants to it. I don't leave any dishes in the sink anymore and all food type stuffs has been locked up and shut away in ziplock bags or airtight containers. But still, they come.

Some mornings I find ants in my sink. The sink is empty but they march about from one side to the other as if on a super important secret mission. Perhaps they are on a secret mission. Maybe my apartment is where they are holding a conference for ant equality.

It's important to treat all ants with the same respect regardless of size or color. That's why I try and remove them from my apartment in the same way, be they big or be they small. Honestly, I'd be delighted if they could resolve their differences and leave my apartment as one big happy family.

I'm all about equality.

Pull The Lever! Wrong Lever!

I've always wanted to be a scientist with a super cool secret laboratory, kind of like Dexter's lab or Yzma's lab from The Emperors New Groove but with less levers. Unfortunately I don't really have the funds for that sort of thing so I've had to make do with my universities moderately cool and not-so-secret laboratory.

You can imagine how excited I was when I heard that we'd be having a biochemistry lab this semester. The highly anticipated first lab was a bit of a letdown, we pretty much just made some solutions and then put them in bottles that we had to empty out at the end of the lab. 

My bottle hadn't been washed out very well and there were little green pieces floating around in it. Looking to seize the opportunity I tried to convince the lady in charge of the lab that we should continue to grow the mold that was already in my bottle. She seemed unimpressed by my proposal and said no. 

The second lab was a lot more interesting. We put some bacteria into petri dishes and then dropped different antibiotics on them to see how the bacteria would react to them. We also stained some bacteria and then looked at them under a microscope. I somehow managed not to set anything on fire and our bacteria looked pretty cool under the microscope.

Bacillus subtilis

E. Coli

This week we're doing something involving blood so it should be pretty interesting!

Cleaning Is Just Hiding Things In Less Obvious Places

Cleaning is not one of my favorite pastimes. Throughout my life I have employed many tactics in order to avoid having to actually do any cleaning. 

The first option is to cajole some poor unsuspecting soul to do it for you. This tactic is my personal favorite as it requires minimum effort (on my part) and can be highly effective (depending on the person that you've coaxed into helping you). Unfortunately it requires having people around to help you and as I happen to live alone, is not a viable option.

Willful ignorance is another option. This can be fun for the first week or so where you pretend that sidestepping piles of dirty laundry is a great way to get in a quick morning workout. If you can tolerate the inevitable weird smells that come from occasionally forgetting to take out your garbage and rarely washing your dishes than this method is just right for you.

I don't particularly enjoy digging through mountains of questionably clean clothes in order to get dressed in the morning and I only have so many dishes. While this is great for some people, it never quite worked out for me.

My last resort is to simply "pretend" to clean. The trick here is to learn how to hide things in less obvious places so that it appears like you're a functioning adult that knows how to take care of themselves. This involves taking everything that you don't want people to see, and shoving into a closet or under your bed. 

If you want to get really fancy, spray some air freshener around your place so that it smells like a pine forest (or some other extremely natural scent that no one will ever guess came out of a can). If that doesn't impress your friends, I don't know what will!

On an unrelated note, I would advise against opening any cabinets in my apartment. Partly for your own safety and partly because having to explain how you ended up being immobilized under a pile of clothing and other assorted items to an EMT might get a little awkward. 

The Importance Of Labeling

Chili powder is one of my favorite ingredients. I do not like spicy food but for some reason, I have the need to add chili powder to almost everything that I cook.

The other night I finished off the last of my chili powder and decided to use the empty container to store my taco seasoning in. Unfortunately I forgot to relabel the container and ended up sprinkling a generous amount of taco seasoning onto my potatoes this morning.

As I have mentioned in the past, mornings are generally a rough time for me. It takes some time for my brain to wake up causing even the simplest of tasks, to be an uphill battle.

This morning was no different than any other. As soon as a realized my mistake, I began to panic. Despite the early hour, I was fairly certain that taco seasoning had no place being in my breakfast. I spent a goodly amount of time staring at the pan and wondering what I was supposed to do.

Sadly, the potatoes in the pan were the only ones that I had in the apartment and I was pretty set on having potatoes with my breakfast. I cautiously tasted the potatoes and determined that they weren't awful.

Hallelujah, Breakfast could still be saved!

I like both tacos and potatoes. Obviously adding taco-like ingredients to the potatoes could only make them better, right?

Wrong.

At this point there was really no going back and I was hungry. Committed to my cause, I wrapped my mess up in a tortilla and ate it anyways.

It was not delicious.

I'd rate it a solid 6/10, would probably not eat again.

Lightning, Fire, Action!

This weekend the whole mishpucha gathered to celebrate The Crazy Lady's twenty-something-th birthday. We were all very excited to celebrate the special occasion and combined with the crazy weather, things got a little bit out of control.

In typical Polly style, the festivities were heavily focused on food. We kicked off the weekend with a big bagel brunch on Friday morning. After brunch we split up and headed to our respective kitchens where we turned out tray after tray of mouthwatering delicacies. 

Due to the crazy weather we all opted to squish into the Fambily house to avoid having to walk home in the rain. We sat down to dinner accompanied by a symphony of pouring rain and rolling thunder. Throughout the meal we commented on the thunder and occasionally stopped to watch bolts of lightning flash through the sky. 

We were eating our main course when there was a particularly bright bolt of lightning immediately followed by a loud crack of thunder that made the walls shake. Everyone looked around in awe as rain and hail pounded on the windows. I looked out the window and noticed that something looked a little off. Closer inspection revealed that the lightning had struck a nearby palm tree, causing it to go up in flames. 

Everyone panicked and crowded around the window to watch the palm tree blazing in all its glory as the rain and hail whipped around it. A firetruck passed by as fiery chunks of the tree came loose and floated across the street. The firemen didn't seem to find the matter overly pressing and continued down the street to respond to some other call that they had gotten. 

We continued to watch the trees demise as the top of the tree cracked off and tumbled to the ground where it was drenched by the rain and finally went out. The firetruck came back around and stopped by the still smoldering tree. They unpacked their hose and somehow managed to miss the tree on their first try. They made a few more attempts to put out the already extinguished tree before packing up their equipment to head back to the fire station after a job well done.

Lunch was infinitely less exciting than the previous meals spectacular light show, but there was loads of delicious food and birthday festivities to compensate. We napped, played and ate lots of deserts until shabbos came to an end. 

We ended the weekend with a pizza party before saying goodbye to The Freddie's and Nemdy's. 

I think I might be in a pizza coma after volunteering to eat all of the leftover pizza. It was delicious and I have only minor regrets about my selfless decision.

All in all, a typical family get together. 

The Five Stages Of Finals

Finals are a rough time. This is something that I had always been aware of (having watched many of my friends and family grapple with the harsh and unforgiving time) but had never experienced first hand, until recently. 

The last few weeks have taught me that the best way to survive finals is to tackle it in stages. These stages are remarkably similar to the five stages of grief. 

Overly optimistic and wildly unprepared, I approached finals with a big cheery smile and what I hoped was a positive attitude. This was the first stage, denial. 

Denial can affect us each in different ways. For me there was a resounding sense of invincibility. I was positive that I could do anything, that I could not fail. The first test was a breeze, I marked down the answers that I knew and then confidently guessed the rest of them. I was sure that the mere fact that I had marked down a certain answer, would lead to it being right.

We got our grades from the first test back and I was unsure how I felt about it. Next up was psychology, I knew the teacher was a little off but I figured the test couldn't be too bad. Turns out I was way off about the test not being "too bad" the questions were vague and the answers, ambiguous at best.

Upset and frustrated I walked out of that test in a rage. Thus making a seamless segue into the second stage, anger.  The second stage didn't last long as, prior to the next test, I immediately transitioned into the bargaining stage.  

I soon realized that bargaining wasn't really helping matters. Things took a turn for the worst when I noticed that the hose in my shower had a crack in it. The rational part of my brain said "Be a big girl and call your land lord" but the less rational and over stressed part of my brain reasoned that no showering = less time to get ready in the morning = more time for sleeping.

The sudden turn of events, combined with the sheer exhaustion and an overpowering sense of doom, nudged me into the fourth stage. Nothing really mattered anymore so why bother studying or showering. I could fail my tests smelling like a hobo just as well as I would being clean and well dressed. 

Almost as if to fit my mood, there was a drastic change in weather. The temperature dropped and big gloomy rain clouds rolled in to drench the city in icy rains. I sought refuge from the rains in my apartment. I spent a good couple of hours glaring at my notes with as much contempt as I could muster.

I had given up on passing my finals but I hadn't given up on everything. I knew I had eaten far too many cookies and that I couldn't avoid going to the gym forever. I walked into the gym and saw that it was pretty full. As I was standing in the middle of the big room I noticed some people giving me funny looks. 

One guy was making this weird gesture towards my legs. I had on a relatively new pair of leggings and wondered how he had known. The weird gestures continued and I looked down to discover that my leggings were on inside out. 

Trying to keep my cool I nonchalantly nodded and said "They're supposed to be like that, it's called fashion...". For a second there I thought he might have bought it but then he pointed to the not so conspicuous tags on display and then went back to working out. 

Standing in the middle of the gym with my leggings on inside out, I decided that it was time to make a change. After slipping into the bathroom for a minute to fix the leggings situation and working out I headed home to call my landlord about the shower situation. 

Unfortunately, my landlord had a slipped disk and was unable to come fix the shower but I did take advantage of the country clubs free water and showered there. 

Acceptance, who knows? All I know is that no matter how hopeless and despairing finals may seem, you have to remember that there is always moed bet.

I still have one last test left and I'm really not sure how that's gonna go but I'm hoping for the best. It would probably go better if I stopped procrastinating and actually studied but that's not really my style....