Thursday, August 4, 2016

The Poop And Scoot

This morning I woke up in my lovely little apartment in Ariel with the urgent need to pee. I walked into the bathroom and noticed that I seemed to be standing in a small puddle. First I checked  the shower to make sure I had completely shut off the water after my shower last night. The shower head was dry and nothing there seemed to be dripping.

Next I moved on to the sink where a considerable amount of water seemed to be collecting. I wiped up the water and waited to see what would happen, nothing did. Running out of options I moved on to the toilet. There was a steady trickle of water was dripping from the pipe that connects the toilet to the wall and drains the waste water. I found a container that I deemed worthy enough to sacrifice to the cause and stuck it under the pipe.

I watched the steady drip for a while before realizing that the container was starting to fill up. We needed a more effective solution, perhaps a way to stop the water from dripping out of the pipe. I debated trying to find some tape to cover the cracks but then realized that shutting off the water would probably be more helpful.

Sure enough, the trickling began to slow down. With nothing better to do I took advantage of the still full tank and emptied my very full bladder. I was feeling pretty proud of myself for my quick thinking and superb problem solving skills until it dawned on me that I would probably have to use the toilet again at some point and now the tank was empty. Emptying the tank had taken a while and quite a bit of water had come out during the process and the pipe was now dripping from two places.

I needed help from a professional, so I texted my dad. He told me to send a picture of the leaky pipe to my landlord and see if he could help. Following my fathers sage advice, I sent a picture of my toilet to the landlord and waited to see what would happen. After a couple of hours of waiting I looked at the clock and began to panic. I had a driving lesson in 40 minutes and I really needed to use a toilet, preferably one that wouldn't leak waste water all over my floor.

With no time to lose I grabbed my keys and half ran to the gym that's about a ten minute walk from my apartment. Pretending that it was completely normal to walk into the gym without work-out clothes or a gym bag, I waved my membership chip near the machine and hurried to the bathroom. Luck was on my side for the first time all morning, the bathroom was almost completely empty. I did my business and then hurried back out of the gym attempting to avoid making eye contact with the guard.

I made it back to my apartment just in time for my driving which went surprisingly well considering my eventful and stressful morning. After the lesson I went back to the apartment to stare at the toilet again. My bladder started hinting that it might be time to visit the gym again so after talking to my landlord and confirming that a repair man was on the way, I got suited up for the gym and headed out in search of a toilet.

The security guard nodded at my proper gym attire as I waved my chip by the machine and entered the gym for the second time today. This time, with the intention of actually working out. But since they conveniently had working toilets, I also used the bathroom before and after my workout.

I got back to my apartment just as the repairman was leaving. He informed me that the problem was solved and I was free to once again pee in the privacy of my own home. I cheered. He nodded briefly and got into his car. True to his word, the toilet did not drip when I flushed it.

A pretty exciting experience all around.

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