The blog post in question caused quite a bit of controversy amongst certain family members. In an effort to better understand what really happened, I asked for anyone with information on the subject to step forward and share what they knew.
Here are some of the interviews that took place:
The Crazy Lady-
Me: Good evening, thank you for taking the time to sit with me.
T.C.L: My pleasure.
Me: Can you tell me what you remember from the incident?
T.C.L: I was not in the kitchen when the incident occurred. However, I know that when I looked for the packets I could not find them and I was told that Z had taken them.
Me: Who told you that Z had taken them?
T.C.L: I belive it was Frank. When I confronted Lori (Z's wife) about it she informed me that Z had taken the packets and handed them to her to put in her purse when they left the house. I think I said "Oh" in response and several days later, Lori (unbeknownst to Z) returned the sauce to our house.
Me: Can you clarify what was in the packets?
T.C.L: Yes, they were sweet and sour sauce. They came with a package of egg-rolls that I bought.
Me: Did you eat them?
T.C.L: They are currently residing in a secret place in the household.
ME: Why are they hiding? Do you feel that you have any trauma from the incident?
T.C.L: I have not been traumatized by the incident. To tell you the truth, I prefer duck sauce.
Me: Thank you for your time.
Frank-
Me:Can you tell me where you were when the incident occurred?
Frank: I was in the kitchen with Z.
Me: Do you remember what happened?
Frank: If I remember correctly I was in the kitchen and Z came up to me and asked "What's with the sweet and sour sauce?", I said "I dunno man... My mom is probably saving them for something.". Z said "Oh I'll take them" and I thought he was kidding. I laughed because I thought he was kidding but when they left, the packets were gone.
Me: I see, how has this affected the way that you feel about your brother in-law?
Frank: Z is a nincompoop. He stole the packets. He's a klepto.
Lori (Z's wife)-
Me: Thank you for stepping forward to share your side of the story.
Lori: I'm glad to be able to set the record straight. I apologize for the injustice perpetuated against my own family by my own family. It was a sticky situation.
Me: I have a witness that claims that they heard Z say "Here, take these. Stick them in your bag" and that you complied which makes you an accomplice to the crime.
Lori: I didn't know what I was doing! I asked him where they came from and he was all, "I dunno".
Me: So you were unknowingly an accomplice. When did you realize what was really going on?
Lori: Four days later mommy asked me about the packets and I began to piece things together. I said to myself "My husband is a klepto!" and I brought them back the next day.
Me: That was very considerate of you, returning the packets.
Lori: I put them back on the counter where they'd started. And when Z walked in from work he noticed them and was like "Hey, Lori, they have more of them!" and I pulled him out of the kitchen.
Z (the alleged
Me: A lot of accusations have been made against you. I would like to hear your side of the story, perhaps we can clear some things up.
Z: I'm happy to share my side of the story. I have nothing to hide.
Me: OK. Let's start off with some of the basics.
Z: I'm not sure why everyone thinks I don't like duck sauce. There wasn't even duck sauce in the packets, it was sweet and sour sauce.
Me: Yes, other witnesses have stepped forward and corrected me. And anyways, Lori told me that you don't like duck sauce.
Z: Lori doesn't like duck sauce. She has no idea if I like it or not because she doesn't even cook with it. There is a lot of misinformation going on here and a lot of slander. I maintain my innocence.
Me: You're right, there is a lot of misinformation. Why don't you tell me why you took the sweet and sour sauce?
Z: Well if everyone is so wrong about me liking duck sauce I think the rest of your story might not be true either. That's logic. And why do I need reasons for anything that I do?
Me: It sounds like your trying to avoid the question....
Z: I'm not on trial. You're the one who is slandering me on your blog.
Me: You're the one that stole the sweet and sour sauce!
Z: Me? Maybe I wanted chinese food with sweet and sour sauce. No one ever considers that.
Me: But it still wasn't yours to take... So the question still remains, why did you take the sauce?
Z: They gave it to me. And then claimed I stole it. Indian givers!
Me: So you deny stealing the sauce?
Z: Sure. Take their side of the story at face value...
Me: I hear your side of the story but I'm a little skeptical. I will take this new information into consideration.
After hearing all sides of the story I'm willing to admit that my original post may have had some inaccuracies.
For instance, the packets in question appear to have contained sweet and sour sauce and not duck sauce.
A minor detail in my humble opinion.
In other news, an anonymous survey has shown that my detective skills are what they call "fairly inadequate".
My colleagues described my techniques as "erratic" and "overall underwhelming".
If you have any mysteries that need solving, I am now available for hire.
Feel free to email me at: themoderatelyadequatedetective@gmail.com .
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